Refraining from style has been easier than I expected it to be, and in some ways more joyful. I spend less time in front of a mirror, less time frowning at my closet and my body. I wouldn’t say I’m moving towards loving my body as it is, but at least I’m not actively hating it. Gratitude for the little improvements.
There was a day when I so wanted to put on eye shadow and more stylized black clothes. I didn’t, but the desire forced me to confront the ways I use fashion to present myself to the world. I don’t need to be open about my emotions; my clothing does it for me.
One struggle: I had ordered a dress for a wedding and had to wait all week for Sunday, feast day, before trying it on! When I did, I was surprised at how much joy it brought me. It’s colorful and floral and flouncy in all the best ways. I jumped around the apartment for a little while before hanging it away until the wedding.